As I was saying

     So the next event that I believe helped shape my agoraphobic self happened in the winter of grade two.  I remember this day vividly as I had gone to bed the night before hoping for the snow storm my parents had spoken of after supper.  Mom and Dad had been trying to figure out who would pick up our nanny before work, should the weather be too bad for her to arrive by walking, as normal. 

     Well, when I woke up to my father's standard "wakey, wakey" I knew that school had not, in fact, been cancelled.  So, as usual, I slowly but surely began getting ready for the day.  I ate peanut butter toast and frosted flakes (oh, so healthy), washed my face, brushed my teeth, pulled out the first clothes I saw and went to school.  My morning was uneventful.  Spelling test, English lesson, recess, health lesson, social studies, and lunchtime.  

     Grace made Kraft Dinner for lunch that day.  Mind you, it was my favorite so it is fairly certain that Kraft Dinner would be the lunch of choice at least twice per week.  Sometimes Grace would even let me have peanut butter toast with Frosted Flakes.  Not often though.  More often than not we had to have something with nutritional value - fish sticks, or chicken, or my most hated of foods...soup.  But I digress, as I often do...

     I returned to school after lunch and enjoyed the flurries along the way.  I didn't linger too long though as, while I liked the flurries, they also made me nervous since they often meant wind.  I missed another one.  Well, next blog.  The wind in the willows blog.  Well, the wind in New Glasgow blog.  So where was I?  Right.  I got back to school and we were in the midst of our science lesson, or maybe it was math, when the Principal announced on the PA that classes were cancelled.  Mrs. Hennessey told us to pack up our books and get ready to go home.  

     Everyone seemed really excited but my thoughts were filled with concern over whether or not Mom would be home, or if Grace would know to have returned to my house.  This concern continued as I put my mittens on and slipped into my snow pants and winter jacket.  This concern continued as I walked home with Robert, my fears getting louder and louder the more the wind and snowfall increased.  The closer I got to home, the more worried I had myself that no one would be there and I would have nowhere to go and nothing to do but fall apart.  

     When we got to my house I ran up the front steps and rang the doorbell.  I turned to note that Robert was a few steps further away now.  I opened the screen door and pounded on the inner door.  Robert had reached the front walkway of our neighbour's house now.  I looked in the window next to the door and saw no stirring.  And then I turned and saw that Robert was just about beyond the neighbour's hedge.  He had just about passed the point when I would be able to see him.  And then it happened...  

     "ROOOOO-o-ob-BERRRRRT!" I cried.  Literally.  I cried the name out at the top of my lungs.  He turned and started running back calling out to me.  

     "What's wrong?" he asked.  

    "Nobody's home," I sobbed, "and I don't know what to do.  I'm too scared to stay here alone."  

     "Can you get into the house?" he asked.  

     "Yeah, there's a key hidden for the back door," I cried.  "But I'm afraid to be home alone."  I began to sob more strongly.  

     "I'll stay with you if we can go in.  We can play Nintendo or something.  Your Mom will be home soon." he said.  I began to feel better almost instantly.  Robert was braver than I.  And I always felt he was stronger than I was.  There were many summers when he and I ended up on the outs for some reason or another.  I was always petrified to go out.  I remember at least three summers that I spent in the house for fear of confronting Robert and being beaten up.  I felt safer in the house.  I felt safer with Mom.  And yet, here was Robert making me feel safe.  

     We played Nintendo for about half an hour when Mom arrived home calling out to see if I was there.  The school had not notified anyone that classes had been cancelled and Mom did not hear about it on the radio for about half an hour after I had already arrived home.  She kissed my head and then picked up the phone.  She left an angry message for the principal on her answering machine.  Mom was not impressed.  She wondered aloud how many other children came home to empty houses.  Mom placed her Block Parent sign in the window in case anyone needed a place to go due to working parents.  

     I was just happy that she was home.  Robert went home for supper shortly thereafter.  Mom called his grandmother to let her know Robert had been keeping me company because I was scared.  It was a good thing too, because she had been expecting Robert home shortly after the radio had announced the school closure and had been both worried and upset that he had not yet arrived home or called her.  I was just glad that Mom was home.  I was glad that Robert had stayed with me.  After that day, Robert was just about my favorite person.