I know what you're thinking...where's the video? Well, when the mood strikes I have to get my thoughts down and I don't have my camera with me. Also, it's just a little more human this way. I plan to get back to the roots of my agoraphobia but I was inspired and I tend to go where my inspiration leads me. Good or bad, you be the judge.
Any system or method of control neglects certain factors, and gradually the pressure of what has been neglected increases sufficiently to topple the system. Only by leaving room for the unknown and for change is there a chance for success. It was true of the Equal Rights Movement that saw women gain the right to work and vote, it was true of the Civil Rights movement that saw blacks gain the right to vote, marry, and take part in any number of social institutions that were previously denied them. It will be true of any number of communities in the years to come. But why does it take pressure to overcome the status quo? How do we as a people decide who has permission to do, or think, something a certain way at a certain time?
I guess I find myself puzzled at this because of what is going on in California. It likely occurs to me because I live in a society today that is inherently different than the one that oppressed women, or tried to suppress blacks. Mind you, neither of those communities is fully realized to the extent that they had hoped, and continue to hope. Legislating "equal pay for equal work" was only passed in the United States in the last decade. And even now, women across the continent tend to get raises less frequently than their male counterparts, and still see less frequent promotions into positions of power. And in terms of minority communities, not only is the same true, but many find themselves resented for legislation that tries to essentially force equality. But can equality ever be validated when it is forced by the state?
I guess that is the larger issue for me. When does it stop being called equality? When does it become merely existing? Being a queer guy is about the least interesting thing about me. It really is. I don't run around with a sign and I don't introduce myself as "the group homo" or whatever because I deem it necessary to label myself right away. That being said, my blog, my vlog, and my life has been largely consumed with all things gay lately. I'm disgusted that I live at a time that sees that as necessary. I'm disgusted that I should have to feel this way - not for myself but for my queer brethren. It is exhausting to be outraged all the time. It really is.
All anybody asks is to be treated with respect. And the lack of respect is rarely an issue until it is denied verbally. Marriage pretty much never occurred to me after I came out. I could have a long-term, committed relationship that defied boundaries or classification. But then someone spoke out. Someone in the queer community wanted to get married. I thought, "Well good for them." It never occurred to me such an institution as marriage - largely a legal formality more than anything (the Church only got involved when they found out they could charge for such things, and made it an issue of morality to look to the King for marriage rather than God - I mean, how many people have to be ignorant of this in order to be rationally offended by the idea of gay marriage?) - could be denied. But then it was denied. Fundamentalists around the world cried out, "Homosexuals are an abomination (as described in the revisionist chapters of the Bible, not in the gospels)!" Then there was the Federal Marriage Amendment in the United States that would go so far as to legally define a word to protect their faith (a faith so apparently feeble that it cannot stand if gays can legally - not religiously, it never truly was...the Church doesn't sell those licenses or insist about the notarization of the documentation - marry). Deny a population, and they will cry out for justice. And even if that justice is denied in the short term, activism will see that change happen in the long term.
So I've decided to be active. It is exhausting to be outraged all the time. It really is. But it is better than the alternative. As an agoraphobic, I have let fear command much of my life. I missed out on a lot in my youth because I was afraid to face that fear - I was afraid to conquer that fear because it was all that I had known for so long. I have chosen to be a conquerer of fear. Not just for those who cannot fight. Not just for those who don't know how. Certainly for me but, just as certain, for all of us.
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